Finding Peace...

After leaving Wellspring for Women in 2007 I was on fire, living a life completely serving God. I was tenacious like a bulldog nothing could have pulled me away from what I felt God had called me to do. After serving God whole heartedly for 4 years I began to doubt God because things were not going as quickly as I thought they should have. I was 26 years old with no husband and no children, not even a boyfriend.

 The church is made up of people and people are not perfect. I was hurt and it immediately started a very slow downward spiral. Remember the enemy isn’t going to attack a very strong Christian full force; he will not give you all he’s got until the hook is set. I began looking for excuses that would line up with the lies that I had started believing. “You are the one that has made all these plans for your life, not God. God didn’t really tell you that. You really didn’t hear from the Lord, that was your own voice.” One small lie escaladed into one huge problem.

Over a few months I eventually feel out of church. I’ve always thought the reason I went to Wellspring was because I was on drugs but I’ve recently learned drugs were not really my “drug of choice”. What did I run to when times got hard? What was the one thing I told myself “I’ll just have one”.  I told myself you really don’t have a drinking problem. Do you really want this to control you for the rest of your life, not being able to have a social drink? You can handle it, you’re strong! Well after a year of thinking I could handle it, I was a full-fledged alcoholic! The “oh just have one”, you mean one bottle? Because that is what it will be with me! It doesn’t work!

I started dating a really great guy but my drinking really didn't seem to be a problem, I didn't drink everyday and I didn't clean out the houses alcohol, hey I got this together (I thought)! I got pregnant six months into us dating. God completely delivered me from my taste of alcohol while I was pregnant but a few months after my child was born the pressure was on. Having a colicky child is very hard to deal with and I am here to say that I did not deal with it the right way. I returned to my coping mechanism, ALCOHOL! After a few months I was cleaning the house out of alcohol every night. After a good scare one night where I could have hurt my child I quickly made a 360 in my lifestyle! It wasn’t easy in the beginning. My fiancé still drank and there was still alcohol in the house. My focus was on him tempting me. Why was he doing this to me? He needs to help me. I really felt like God told me “focus on YOUR problem”. When I took all of the energy I was using on what he was doing and turned it onto helping myself in no time I felt a lift of pressure off of my life! Thank you God!

After getting pregnant I’ve dealt with so much guilt and condemnation, punishing myself for not living in God’s will, for stepping out of His will. But what I have learned through all of this, when we step out of Gods will and make decisions that do not line up with God’s word we are out of His safety and protection for our life and He will allow things to happen, as He did in my life. But God can and He will “turn all things around for our good”! God’s grace and mercy never seize to amaze me!  Today I am back in Gods will and what a peaceful feeling it is! Always watch for that peace, when you don’t feel it you better check yourself before you wreck yourself!

STAND IN THE GAP!

In the past month I have found myself asking God "WHY"!!! I have prayed, I have pleaded, I have stood on His word yet still life's circumstances make me ask "why"!

Psalm 37:4 Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

This is a promise from God,  I have had to stand in the gap for some very close friends this month and believe this verse! When life's circumstances contradict God's Word having faith can be very hard! There are many things that this can be easy to do but when it comes to pregnancy it is a constant battle of the flesh and the mind with what the Word of God says! Psalm 37:4 does not have a date stamped on it but it does promise that it will happen and this is what we stand on!

Where is the problem? The problem is when you have begged and pleaded with God but every month you pray the menstrual cycle won't come and yet here it is again or you finally conceive a child yet every symptom SCREAMS miscarriage at you or SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT!! It is so hard to trust God and even harder not to question Him! We want to know why, we want to know why is it so easy for "uh oh" pregnancies to people who have no business having a child, yet a Christian family  continues to have miscarriage after miscarriage, false pregnancy, tubular pregnancy...and so on! WHY!?!?!

We all have seen the attack of the enemy on families, it starts with the head of the house hold! This has been going on for years! If the devil can split and destroy a family it has a ripple effect that will affect everyone involved for the rest of their lives! I believe that today people give up to easily, we are a generation that when the boat starts to rock we jump ship instead of waiting out the storm! What if we lean into God in these times and trust Him? Will it be easy NO!!! But, I promise you, families will come out stronger in the end!

Recently I feel like God has been showing me families are under attack in a new way! A way that has been going on for years but it has hit very close to home lately with several close friends and family! Families desiring to have a child to grow their family and carry on the family name, families wanting a new addition! Back to the verse "He will give you the desires of your heart"!!! The devil is attacking growth in families because he knows this is one area that we as Christians may question God! He is attacking our faith, he is attacking our bodies, he is attacking our families!

What can we do for the ones this is happening to? We can stand in the gap and believe for them when their circumstances are contradicting Gods Word! @Joshua Moore said there are times when we have to believe for our loved ones until they can believe for themselves! I am believing for my friends that God has given them this desire to have a child and even though the circumstances of life continue to contradict Gods Word, He will give them the desires of their hearts! Gods timing is perfect and that is something we must continue to remind ourselves! God sees the book from beginning to end while we can only see the page we are on!

I am here to tell you, get ready because as these families grow and lean into God you are fixing to see a baby boom of families that haven't been able to have children! God is hearing our cry and He is going to answer our prayers!

A Prayer for Those Desiring Children

 

You have a right to believe God for anything He has promised in His Word. The Word says in Psalms 127:3, “Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord and the fruit of the womb is his reward.” Psalms 84:11 says, “…no good thing will he withhold from them that walk uprightly.” Also, Psalms 113:9 says, “He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children….” Exodus 23:26 in The Amplified Bible states, “None shall lose her young by miscarriage or be barren in your land….”

Besides focusing on these scriptures, remember also that God is no respecter of persons (Acts 10:34). What He did for Hannah in I Samuel 1, He’ll do for you. These are truths that John and Marty Copeland learned to apply when believing for the conception of their first child. Their daughter Courtney Mercer Copeland became the seventh grandchild of Kenneth and Gloria Copeland because of the walk of faith in her parents’ lives. They learned to sow seeds for the specific things they were believing for. Marty gave a baby shower to honor and bless a friend. She made the conscious decision to sow love into the lives of the children around her. Every time they prayed over their food, John would say aloud, “Father, I thank You that Marty’s pregnant. We have a perfect child.”
At a time when her faith was beginning to waver and she needed a breakthrough, God revealed to Marty that she wasn’t “missing it.” Rather, she just needed to seek Him more by pressing in with her faith in every area possible. Search for additional scriptures and look for new areas to apply your faith. God will meet you where you are with the encouragement you need to receive your manifestation.

Children are the right of a marriage covenant with God (Deuteronomy 28:11). Based on the Word of God, we set ourselves in agreement with you that you have the desire of your heart, a child of your own. The Lord perfects that which concerns you (Psalms 138:8).

God’s Word is always His will. We have included a prayer and scriptures that we believe will minister to you as you stand on them. As you make these scriptures part of your prayer life, you may be sure that you are praying according to the will of God. “And this is the confidence that we have in him, that, if we ask any thing according to his will, he heareth us: And if we know that he hear us, whatsoever we ask, we know that we have the petitions that we desired of him” (I John 5:14-15).
We believe with you!

Father, as Your children, we come to You and remind You that we have been redeemed from the curse of the law and You have promised us all the blessings of Abraham. We are in a covenant with You and we expect You to fulfill the conditions of that covenant.

Father, we desire to have a baby, and since Your Word says that children are a gift from You, we expect to have a normal, healthy baby. Since __________ has been redeemed from the curse, we expect her to carry that child full term. Your Word says You will bless the fruit of her womb, and Your Word says she will lose none of her young by miscarriage or be barren and that You will keep her safe through childbearing. Since she is no longer under the curse, she will be able to have this child the way You originally planned for Eve to have children—free from pain and suffering and pangs and spasms of distress. So we expect this child to be brought into the world quickly and with no pain. We believe she will feel the contractions but will feel no pain. We believe, according to Your Word, that she will have a beautiful pregnancy with no suffering during it.
Thank You, Father, for hearing and answering our prayers and for faithfully watching over Your Word to perform it. We know You have given Your angels charge over us to accompany and defend and preserve us in all our ways.

Now, Satan, you hear the Word of God. We speak it to you and command you to take your hands off us, God’s children, in the Name of Jesus. We break all assignments you have put up against us and forbid you to hinder this pregnancy or childbirth in any way. We bind you, and the Word of God declares that whatever we bind on this earth is bound in heaven, and whatever we loose is loosed in heaven. And we loose the peace of God to flood our hearts right now, in Jesus’ Name.
Thank You, Lord, for hearing and answering our prayers. We love You and we appreciate You and look forward to seeing this precious little love that You have especially picked out for us.

"A Prayer For Those Desiring Children - http://www.kcm.org/real-help/prayer/prayer-those-desiring-children"

As I end this blog I beg all of you to begin to pray this prayer and pray it fervently believing that God will hear our cry and He will answer our prayers! I believe that God has given me this for someone and I believe what His word says! I believe that we are under attack BUT Gods Word is above any circumstance we may face!!

This blog was made for some VERY special friends that are dear to my heart! I love you guys!!!
 

Keep that door SHUT!!!!

Doors come in many different forms in our lives! A door can be a person, an addiction, dreams...all situations in our lives can be looked at as a door that is open or shut! My own personal experience is that sometimes in life we stare so hard at the closed door that we drive ourselves crazy and eventually we will open that door back up! But WHY?!?!?! We ask our self, I thought I was stronger than this, I thought I had overcome this, I thought I had moved on....but here is the answer! Our minds are very powerful things! They can bring us to the brightest of places or to the darkest of them! We can choose what we think on! We can choose to let one thought consume us and drive us crazy!

Doors come in many forms, what door have you closed that you need to leave that way? Or maybe you have closed a door that didn't need to be closed.....Doors can be good or bad! But you have to be honest with yourself! You can't play games with your mind and think oh if I just crack the door a little I will be ok....I'm hear to tell you, that crack will turn into a door wide open--off those hinges before you can blink your eyes!!! Look at your life, examine it. Where do you want to be? Where do you not want to be?? Close the doors and keep them closed, life is not worth it...do whatever you have got to do!!!

Where has this come from? Just something that has been on my mind lately....maybe now it will get out!!!

Tomorrow may never come...

As I do every morning, we wake up I feed Zane and then he plays while I catch up with emails and Facebook! This morning was like every other except to learn that life was taken very early for a very young and beautiful young lady! I never had the pleasure of knowing her but many others did! We are not promised tomorrow! We do not know what today may bring!

Death, something that is becoming all to familiar lately! Not something to be scared of but the loss that we feel can hurt so bad that it is physical pain!

Here is the problem we live life like we have tomorrow to fix what is broken, to do the right thing, to finish what we started....BUT what if we don't!? What if tomorrow never comes? What would you do differently today if you knew it was your last day here on earth?

I'm reminded of the song by Tim McGraw, Live Like You Were Dying!

Jeremiah 29:11
"For I know the plans I have for you" declares the Lord "Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"

Notice it says that the Lord DECLAREs, to declare means to make known or state clearly, especially in explicit or formal terms; to announce officially; to proclaim ; to state emphatically. This makes this verse stand out. Instead replace the word declares with SAID. The definition of said is simple past tense. SIMPLE think about that word. If God didn't want this verse to stand out He would of just said it.

God has a plan for each of us! It is never too late to finish what you have started, to fix what is broken and to love like you never have before! Don't let today pass you with regrets! We only live once, Live Like You Were Dying because tomorrow may never come!

You have read my post please pray for the families of the ones in a tragic car wreck this morning! One life was taken way too early and left a precious baby girl without a Mama and there was also another involved who is in critical condition! God is in control please pray for these families!

Forgiven!!!

Never blogged before, never even wanted to. But a friend started blogging so I figured I'd give it a try. Maybe like a daily diary or a way to vent or just express myself without being judged or misunderstood. Just a chance to say things that I want to say....maybe....we will just give it a shot! lol

So I titled this "Life as we know it" because life changes and it changes people! Life can humble us, harden us, make us bitter, make us sweeter. Life changes people!

Today I find myself hardened.....we all have choices that we make in life and we all will face the consequences of those actions sooner or later. To some you see them skimming by like they never face their consequences. They live life full of hell and seem like they are having the time of their life and they probably are--for that moment.....But I am here to tell you it all ends. It may not be today, it may not be tomorrow and it may not even be 10 years from now BUT one day I promise you it ends and they will pay for their choices and meet the consequences of their bad decisions! This is coming from someone who has made many and paid for it! Saying that when you live a life like that you aren't only hurting yourself, you hurt every person that cares for you! This is something you realize when you begin paying for your consequences. So back to my first five words of this paragraph. Today I find myself hardened.....I have someone who is very close to me that has made very bad choices his entire life. And is now paying for it. Bad decisions can take years off of your life! It literally will STEAL from you...it will ROB you blind and you don't realize it until it is too late and literally has you by the throat and you are begging for it to let you go. But by that point this decision of yours is not going to let go that easy....it is now time to pay and it is going to hang on for dear life....YOUR life! Wow, that just sent chills up my spine!

Hardened, I don't want to be, I want to run and help! I want to help take care of you and be there by your side but I can't! I'm hardened you have done this to yourself....you have done this to us! I'm so thankful for where I am today knowing that the people I love will never feel the way I feel about you right now! Thank you God for being forgiving! Please have mercy on this person.....you know who they are and that I love them very much!

People please think about your choices and who they will impact....maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow and maybe not 10 years from now but one day I promise you they will impact the people you care about most!

Then at the end of the day I am reminded of this....

 Thank you God!